Hello, I'm Mommy, and I'll Be Your Entertainment!

The Calm Before The Storm

I admit I can be entertaining. There are times I completely crack myself up. Okay, so I'm not always funny to other people, but to me, I'm hilarious! Oh, and I guess I'm a one woman show for the little man.

So how did that happen? When did parents become responsible for their kid's constant entertainment and boredom removal? (and when did kids' cups become so damn hard to put together?)  I don't remember my mom constantly spending time with me and making sure that, God forbid, I wasn't bored. But here I am, a gazillion mom years later, and I find myself screeching to the Dad unit, "Quick! Get on the floor and play race track! He appears under stimulated!"

Back in the good old days of parenting, if I got bored, my mama would tell me to hush - she was watching her stories, and you did not want to interrupt her stories. She took her story watching very seriously, and by the time I was five, I knew all the plot lines of every soap opera on NBC.  Days of Our Lives taught me everything I know about love and intrigue. Because of that show, I'm never sure people really die...maybe they're hiding out on an island, only to reappear when their former love is about to remarry. It could happen.

Where was I? Oh yeah, bored kids. What happened to letting them play and just learn on their own? I don't mean you shouldn't interact with them, but I know I and lots of other mamas feel pretty guilty when we aren't constantly stimulating their intellectual growth. What if they grow up to be mediocre because they watched too much Little Baby Bum?!  Right now there is a mama out there making homemade play dough and planning to make a mold of her kid's right foot, because, well, she should. After that she'll do some algebra with him and maybe review the periodic table.

With Winter upon us, boredom is a constant threat.  Apparently, if my kid doesn't go out every single freaking day, he turns into psycho baby. I diligently watch the sky like some kind of boy scout to see if the weather is right for us to slip out for 10 minutes so the young one can run and play and "burn off energy." That's parent speak for "stop being a holy terror."

Today I watched the sky and announced triumphantly that we could indeed go play. Thirty minutes later, when we were both appropriately bundled, we went out into the cold. All was fine until he wanted to go into the creek. We've had torrential rains, so it was more like a roaring river. No way he's going near that. Cue tantrum....

I proceeded to pick him up and tried to carry him home, only to have him practice his new head butting skill on my chin. That felt great. I finally got him into the house, where he cried for fifteen minutes on the floor and finally went to bed. He had been asleep for only a little while when my Lab woke him up. Now he's watching television and doesn't look bored - for the moment.

Parents, we need to cut ourselves some slack. We're not a one woman/man show. If you read books, snuggled your kid, fed him, gave him love and turned off the television at least once, I say you had a good day!  If your child played in his room by himself, I'll argue that's healthy. Some of the best play my son has done is when he goes into his room alone and creatively plays with his toys. I'm not there to instruct - he comes up with the play all on his own.

Maybe, just maybe, our kids aren't bored after all.

How do you handle your kid's boredom? Share in our comment section and don't forget to like us on Facebook and share our posts!

Sleepily,
AmandaZ
Domesticology

Where's a Saber Tooth Tiger When you Need One?

Obesity is on the rise and a full 75% of our citizens are overweight or morbidly obese. Type II diabetes is at a record high. I know a lot of folks blame hormones in food, GMOs and antibiotics in cows. I can't say for sure these aren't contributing factors. I'm not a doctor, so it may be the case. But I have my own theory. I think it's because we have easy access to food, and we avoid exercise like the plague.

Yep, we have perfected the art of sitting on our ass. We'd rather take a bullet to the knee than exercise.  I'm the first to say that I could be a professional couch sitter. I love it. Turn on some Netflix or Hulu, give me some pretzels, and I'm good for hours. I sat my way to 262 pounds. Okay, that wasn't cool, but my television watching skills were second to none!

When I realized I was approaching three bills on my 5'2" frame, I finally lost weight. Keeping it off, however, has been a challenge. Overweight people are some of the best dieters out there, but keeping the weight off once it's lost is the real problem. It's like in the Seinfeld episode where Jerry reserves a car but they rent it out before he gets there. He says, "You can take the reservation but you can't hold the reservation - and that's really the most important part." Keeping the pounds off is the most important part.

Weight loss is a simple formula, really. Calories in versus calories burned. You have to eat right and move your body to lose weight. So why do we avoid using our bodies for the work they have evolved to do? Why do we try to lose weight by severely restricting calories but not exercising?

There was a time when fitness was not for vanity, but for our very survival. I imagine our female ancestors didn't run through the African Savannah to get on the cover of Neanderthal Illustrated. More than likely, she was trying not to get eaten. Since Kroger hadn't been invented yet, she also had to run to catch her supper. I can't even imagine how much fun that was. "Hmmm, what should we have tonight, family? Let's see what Mommy can catch!"

Even when we moved into the Neolithic period and began transitioning from a hunter/gatherer society to an agrarian one, we still had to work our asses off. All through antiquity and even up until the last century, people had to work demanding physical labor to produce their food. Did you ever watch Little House on the Prairie? Pa and Ma and the kids worked really hard, but often, their crops failed. It wasn't like they could run to the Piggly Wiggly when that happened.. They had no food. Period. It's hard to be obese when you're eating dry bread at each meal.

But here we are in modern times, and food is plentiful. There's no need to toil in the fields or chase wild animals. No beastly beasts are chasing us. We're at the top of the food chain! We can sit in comfort and watch our girth increase. Because of this change in our culture, people now make any excuse in the book not to move. I'm tired. My butt hurts. My mouse died. I have seen folks sit for ten minutes waiting for a parking place at Walmart, rather than parking farther away and walking. Is it any wonder we're getting larger?

But it's not just about our weight. Exercising is good for so many other things; weight maintenance is just a side benefit. I was feeling very sad about moving from my family and living in a new place. Winter came and I put on ten pounds! I was getting so depressed, I wanted to cry all the time. I started taking time for myself and began exercising everyday. I'm down 16 pounds, and my spirits are better. I feel alive again.  Check out these ten reasons to exercise that having nothing to do with weight loss!

My father gave my daughter his old car when he died. She wasn't quite ready to drive and it sat in my driveway for several years. Finally, we cranked her up and she ran like crap. We hadn't used her, so she deteriorated. That's what happens when we don't move. We're like a car sitting in a garage. Don't be surprised when your car breaks down. Get it running before it's too late!

Has exercise changed your life? Share your story in the comments!

Physically,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

When you have a Toddler, You never Potty Alone

I realized something today. I have not had a satisfying bathroom experience since my son became mobile. By mobile, I mean he can move farther away from my outstretched arm than I can reach as I try to conduct...business. I remember the days when I could read a magazine, check my phone or maybe just sit and contemplate life while in the bathroom. For that is what toilet time is for - peaceful meditation.

More importantly, bathroom attendance is a solitary event. It is something meant to be done in relative peace and quiet so that all functions work smoothly and uninterrupted.  Having someone go with you is just...wrong. Plus it's really hard to reach Zen when you have to plop down quickly before your toddler throws his Bink into the bowl. Unless you plan to hold it for five years, however, you learn that sometimes, potty time is a group activity.

I never thought I could do it, but yes, I can potty with a toddler hanging onto my leg. I have also perfected the "reach" which gets him out from under the bathroom sink whilst my booty stays mostly attached to the toilet seat. Mostly.

The bad days are when we go to the bathroom, but mommy...silly mommy...forgets to shut the door properly. That means right in the middle of said constitution, Little Man escapes. The only thing worse than a toddler joining you is a toddler deserting you. There is no way to continue to concentrate because you have no idea what he's into. Is he currently going through dirty laundry and putting your panties on his head? Yeah, it's happened.  Is he pulling out all of Daddy's running clothes from the dresser while you try valiantly to complete the deed? Probably.

I know there is a mommy reading this who says, "why doesn't she just put him in the crib?" Well, I could do that, but the only thing worse than a baby on the leg and one who escapes is one who stands in the crib, wailing and wanting out. Who can concentrate with that racket? A better pooper than me, that's who.

It has really become the "Toilet-Olympics" in my house. Daddy gives the signal that he's heading to work, which means I only have a few precious minutes for bathroom activities. There's no time to waste! Like an athlete, I lean over, fingers touching the floor. The baby whines, and off I go in a coffee-fueled dash! I run down the hall, racing for the seat, my pants coming down before I even open the bathroom door. Barely do I sit before I complete my task, wash my hands and return for baby duty. Daddy is free to leave, and I have set a new world record. The judges from Romania gave me a 10.

Clearly, I have become the Bruce Jenner of Pottying.  Look for me on a box of Wheaties - or Charmin.

Delicately,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

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An Easy and Fun Toddler Project!

Now that warm Spring breezes are blowing, it's time to start doing art projects with the kids. If you've felt like I have, Winter was a time best spent hibernating and getting fat. Well, enough of that! Yesterday, I decided to do a fun project with Emrys and his BFF (and her awesome mom). They are both one year-old, so I figured this project could go really well or really badly. As it was, it went pretty okay.

First you need to make the Finger Paint:

1/2 cup Corn Starch
3 Tbsp Sugar
1/2 tsp Salt
2 cups Cold Water
Food Coloring

Mix all ingredients in a pot (minus the food coloring) and cook on low heat until the mixture is smooth and thick - about 10 minutes. Let it cool completely. Then separate the paints into storage containers. I added a couple of drops of food coloring and stirred until mixed.

Here's what it looked like when I was done:

Next, we read some of One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue Fish.  Most of you probably have it in your kid's library. The book is too long to hold their attention for a lengthy amount of time. 

We focused on the first page. 

Next, I bought some poster board.  Here is how I decorated it. No comments about what a pitiful drawer I am. An artist, I am not!

Then, with a lot of assistance from the mommies, we introduced the paint to their hands. That turned out to be pretty interesting. Emrys wanted to eat it, and I think his friend thought it felt yucky! Remember, at this stage of development, it's not about the finished art project, but more about new textures and stimuli. We also counted and talked about colors. 

Who knows what stuck in their little baby heads?

Emrys seems pleased with his project.

That's art project number one! Stay tuned and see what we try next! Send us pics of your kids doing projects. We love to see them!

Amanda Z
Domesticology

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Should we encourage girls to be Princesses?

Hi friends! Sorry I've been a bit MIA lately, but I've been working, traveling, visiting family and handling a sick baby. Many of you know how that goes, so I'm assuming you'll cut me some slack. I'm also going on the assumption you want to read my blog and have actually missed it. Let's go with that!

On to today's topic...

I'm a weird girl - I readily admit that, so maybe I'm reading more into this than I should. I have a thick skin, so if I'm wrong, tell me. I can take it.

Yesterday, I received a notification inviting all girls to come to a Girl Scout meeting that was a Princess Party.  Young ladies are encouraged to dress as their favorite princess and earn their....princess badge. Duh what? A princess badge? Is this really a thing? What else do they earn? Their toenail painting badge? Their skin-care regimen badge?

I'll be the first to admit I don't know a lot about the Girl Scouts.  I tried to take daughter #1 to meetings, but one, we were too poor to buy the materials, and two, it kind of sucked. Daughter #2 pretty much hates most people, so she had no desire to make lifelong friends and do chick things with other girls. So yeah, my GS experience is somewhat limited.

My darling hubby was a boy scout and did it until he quit, because and I quote, "he wanted to get laid."  At least he was honest.  All the stories he tells me, however, are pretty awesome. He learned to swim really well and make camp. He became a great archer. He can make fire without a match, which I think is pretty cool!  The things he learned were the kind of skills a young boy can take into manhood. They had value. Where is the value in learning to be a princess? He never mentioned getting a Prince Badge.

I think this bothers me in the same way beauty pageants bother me. Little girls are more than the value of their appearance. I never tell my granddaughter or my son's BFF that they are pretty (they really are pretty though) without also saying how clever and smart they are (because they are and that's WAY more important).  In the grand scheme of life, no way gives a shit if your kid is "Tiny Miss Junior Miss Little Miss Wee Wee."  I'm pretty sure her future employer is not going to care, since they are hiring her for her brains...unless they are a weirdo and are hiring her for her looks which is super creepy.

Again, I could be making a mountain out of a molehill. It wouldn't be the first time. Do you learn survival skills in the GS's? Do you get other cool badges learning things of value?

Let me know in the comment section!

Quizzically,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

Watching your kids grow up is hard

My Little Pork Chop at three days old

Today is our Little Man's first birthday eve. Tomorrow, he turns one, and my heart is hurting just a smidgen. I know he's the last baby I will have, and this knowledge makes each milestone all the more bittersweet. The ironic thing is, I have already gone through this milestone with my middle daughter Emily, whom I expected to be my youngest. Funny how things work out.

When Emily was born, I knew (or thought I did) that she was my last baby. It wasn't easy to get pregnant with her, and my pregnancy was super difficult. Anyone who has suffered with hyperemesis gravidarum knows the pain of which I speak. Constant vomiting made it very difficult to enjoy the pregnancy, but oh how much I loved seeing my little girl born. I had two beautiful, healthy daughters, and I was done. I loved watching them grow up and get big. The next baby in my life would be a grandchild, I thought, and technically, it was! I have a gorgeous granddaughter, and what a joy she is!

You never know what curve ball life will throw you, however, and with the help of modern science, Emrys Henry was born. A boy! Almost twenty years to the day since my last baby! How in the heck can I raise a boy, I wondered? My sister had boys - three to be exact. I always felt that she was better equipped to handle them. Me? I'm better with girls. I often joked if I had a little boy, he would be the prissiest little boy ever, because I have no idea how to raise them. But if you read my blog on gender neutrality, you know that it doesn't matter what you do as a parent, kids will turn out the way they want. Emrys is all boy - he is already pretending to be a monster, crawls under and over everything and is just all around busy. I love it. No danger of being prissy that I can see (not that I care if he's prissy).

But he's definitely growing up, just as his sisters did. That's the problem with having a lot of years between kids. Since I've traveled this road before, I know what's ahead...and I'm not ready for it. He's getting bigger and one day, I know he will leave our home to make his way in the world. I'm just not ready for sports practices and girl drama. I'm not ready to take him on tours of colleges or stay up late worried that he's somewhere in danger. I'm not ready for lippiness and backtalk - but it's coming. I know it.

I want those days of rocking him to last just a bit longer. I want to inhale his sweet baby scent just awhile longer. I want to see him tottering towards me on unsteady legs and reaching out with eager arms. I'm not ready for him to wiggle down to play because he's too busy to be snuggled. I want to capture in my mind and heart that look of baby adoration he has for me right now, today. I'm just not ready for him to grow up.

I'll try to remember the words "we are raising adults, not children" but today, I don't want to think about that. He will be an adult far sooner than I'm ready, and in the meantime, I'll enjoy each baby moment. When he's sleepy, I'll try to sneak in some extra rocking time, and even big boys who walk fall down and need a boo boo kissed. I will not hurry him to the next stage, but will instead enjoy each second of the one he's in. That's a promise, my Baby Pork Chop.

Nostalgically,
Amanda Z

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What happens if you DON'T go to the store for milk, bread and eggs???

I'm no stranger to severe weather. I grew up in Hurricane Alley after all, and I saw more destruction and breezy days than anyone should see. Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel came to our city a lot which meant we were screwed. If Jim visits, just put a big red X on your ass, because you're gonna get clobbered. On a side note, am I the only one who thinks he's kinda hot? He reminds me of Elliott on Law & Order SVU, but I digress.

Jim in all his glory. Hot or not?

The reason I mention this is because I'm well aware of the rush to buy milk, eggs and bread. I also have heard the million jokes about folks hurrying to buy these three items in the event of a natural disaster. I admit I always thought it was pretty funny, since your power is sure to go out during a hurricane, so why buy milk and eggs?  But like any good prepper, I would make sure my fridge was full and hope for the best. I don't want to be that epic failure who has no milk, eggs and bread when my roof blows off!

Fast forward, and I moved from a coastal town to Raleigh, NC. In Raleigh, we didn't get a lot of hurricanes, but we did get measurable snow from time to time. Snow days were a lovely time to stay home, make chili and catch up on Law & Order. Again, I did the rush to the store thing and bought the obligatory ingredients for french toast. See my recipe here.

Now I'm in Kentucky, and we're seeing a pretty tough winter. I have a ton of snow outside, and it isn't going anywhere. But at least I went to the store on Sunday and bought important stuff like beer and chili fixins'. This time, however, I resisted the urge to buy a ton of milk, eggs and bread! No ma'am, I'm not doing it this time. Oh lord, bad move.

Guess who is low on milk? Guess who forgot to take into account that her little man is transitioning from formula to cow's milk? Yeah, that would be me. Guess who has NO bread and two eggs. Again, that would be moi.

I'm a storm prepper failure.

Even as I'm typing this, I'm getting a little breathless and anxiety-ridden. How could I have made such a mistake?

Now my husband has to make a stop at the Food Giant (I'm not even kidding) and get milk, eggs and bread.  That's assuming he can get his car out of the driveway. I hear him shoveling even as we speak. If he can't, he will walk two miles to get supplies for us. I'm hoping that the smart folks who were better prepared for this storm than us didn't clean out the store's supply. If so, I have a sneaky suspicion the empty shelves and bare coolers will whisper mockingly to him..."Next time, you will buy eggs, milk and bread. You must, as it is your duty."

Hopefully, those of you out there snowed in at your house did better than I did. I bet you're eating French toast as we speak.

Coldly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

Would you want to know he cheated?

Getting smooches from the man I love...

Last night, I was snuggled up with Dr. Z and I threw out one of those awful chick questions that all guys hate. I asked my sweet man this hypothetical question: If we were in our sixties, would you want to find out that I had cheated on you when we were in our 30's? Does it matter at that point in our lives?

Yep, I really asked that. And no, I haven't cheated.

I had been struck with this brilliant question after I read an article on infidelity. Not to mention, my favorite movie is Love Actually, and the pain Emma Thompson feels is so raw, it touches you right through your television screen.  It shows, a lot of folks cheat, both men and women. More than that, I realized a lot of them must get away with it. So knowing that, would you want to know about it many years after the fact?

This was a no-brainer for me. Any woman (or man) who has been cheated on knows the pain and heartache it causes. It takes some people years to get over that kind of betrayal, and some never do. Right now, and I hope for all years in the future, I hold my husband in the highest esteem. He is kind and loving, and a terrific father and step-father. He never yells at me and will quickly hug me if he thinks I'm sad. I can't ask for better. But if I found out he cheated, even thirty years after the fact, I would see him differently. The respect I had for him would be diminished, and sadly, so would the way in which I viewed the life we shared. Even though it's illogical, I would question every tender touch and loving word. I would constantly think about him lovingly touching someone else, and I know I would never recover. Our marriage would be over. I would not want to know. There, I said it. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Now that you know my answer, guess what his was. Would he want to know?

Of course, he said.

What?! I asked in shock.

Yep, knowledge is never wrong, he confidently stated.

But would you see me differently?

Probably.

Would you still feel the same about the life we had shared?

Probably not.

But you would still want to know?! Even if it destroyed our marriage?

Yes.

Ugh, I don't get him. Scientists.

Would you want to know? Why or why not??

Trustingly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

Should we encourage gender neutrality in children?

In my college days, my concentration was in women and gender studies. I won't even discuss the classes I took which basically made me feel like every man in the world was out to screw womankind over, and the men of the world should promptly apologize to me and all women for having a penis. One thing I definitely learned in my college years and day-to-day living is that it's a patriarchal world and I'm just a vagina owning woman trying to live in it.

To compensate for this and to change to a more fair and equitable society, we have begun a backlash movement which tells us that no matter our gender, we are all the same.  I recently read about a Canadian family that is striving for complete gender neutrality with their youngest child.  I have to agree with the writer of the article - their kids shouldn't be a social experiment, and I see some very confused kids in the future. Men and women should be treated as equals but I will argue that boys and girls are not the same. Should we as parents encourage our boy and girl children to be the same? I for one, say no. Boys and girls are different, and I think that's awesome. If I ever thought otherwise, my son and his buddy have taught me otherwise.

In the last few weeks, I have watched my son and his best little friend Susie* happily playing in my living room (shameless plug - they are so freaking cute when they play). Because all the parents are pretty educated, we want to encourage both kids to embrace their masculine and feminine sides and never encourage gender stereotypes. I have an assortment of balls, blocks, dolls, riding toys and climbing equipment designed to promote intellectual growth, but not to enforce rigid gender division. There are no "girly" toys or "manly" toys. There are just toys. In fact, when my son gets older, he will likely have kitchen equipment and no, I won't freak out if he likes dolls. I'm sure Susie's mom wouldn't freak out if her daughter liked playing with toy hammers instead of kitchen items. By providing this very neutral environment, the plan is to see the kids playing the same kinds of games, and the lines of gender will, hopefully, be blurred.

Well, that's not how it's going. Boys and girls are different, and they certainly play differently.

Yesterday, for example, I gave the kids pots and wooden spoons to play with. My son promptly hit his, making a satisfying loud clang which could wake the dead. Susie did also...for a few seconds. But then she turned the pot over and started stirring her imaginary dinner with the wooden spoon. Oh my god! She was cooking! I couldn't have that! So I turned over my son's pot and showed him that he too could cook. That went over like a fart in church. He wanted no part of it. I began to panic.  Did I somehow subconsciously make Susie take on a "female" role? No, she just liked playing that way, and my son didn't.

Susie takes the little Disney characters over to the window and quietly sits with them and dare I say it, plays with them in a very ladylike manner. She lines them up and talks to them in her sweet little girl voice. Emrys takes the same toys and beats them on the table or throws them.  She likes to come over to me and climbs up in my lap for snuggles and love. Emrys comes over and gets reassurance that I'm still there, and then he's off again. Susie cuddles the stuffed animals and puts them to bed and talks to them in a mommy-like voice. Emrys isn't all that into the stuffed animals. He would much rather hit everything in sight. He listens very intently to the different sounds that an item makes when he "tap-taps" it. That's entertaining to him.

So what does this all mean? Are stereotypes there for a reason? Is there some biological drive within us to behave a certain way? I'm going to say yes, there is. Susie is already displaying mothering behavior. Does that mean she can't grow up to be an astrophysicist? Of course not, so why is the whole world freaking out that she is a nurturer? If Emrys doesn't play with dolls, does that mean he's going to be a horrible father someday? Of course not.

My scientific opinion is this: let the kids play like they want. They will grow up to be just fine. I'm more excited by the kindness they show to one another (mostly). I like the baby voices they use to communicate in a language I cannot understand.  I like the way Emrys follows Susie around the room, waiting to see what their next adventure will be. So far, she is definitely the leader!

I'm sure they will be a fine man and woman someday.  Different, but both equally wonderful.

Fondly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

*name changed

My Beef with Meghan Trainor

44 years-old and feeling fabulous!

When I heard "All About That Bass" for the first time, I admit I felt somewhat liberated. Here was this super cute young girl singing about embracing your body, no matter the size, and it's okay to flaunt that fine fat rump. I have a fat rump (whether it's fine is debatable), so clearly this song was written with gals like me in mind. My husband certainly doesn't mind a little meat on my bones, so why should I? All is right in the world.

Or is it?

Ms. Trainor is part of a growing movement that has me a little nervous - this so-called "healthy at any size movement." Don't worry if you're severely overweight, as long as you love yourself. You'll never hear me say don't love yourself. In fact, if you read my blog, you'll notice I say a lot of issues we have as women are directly related to our lack of self-esteem. But does that mean it's okay to love being morbidly obese? Some folks would say yes. I'm going to say no, and here's why.

Fat isn't about aesthetics. It's not about how cute you look. Obviously, you can be overweight and be beautiful. It's about health. I come from a long line of fine fat southern women. No, I'm not going to be politically correct and say "thick" or "meaty." They were morbidly obese, and most of them are dead now. Very few lived to a ripe old age, and before they died, their co-morbidities made their quality of life unpleasant with many trips to the doctor and hospital admissions. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer...you name it and they dealt with it. As we have gotten bigger as a nation, we've become more unhealthy.

We won't even discuss the lack of mobility. It's funny to joke about being lazy and not moving from the couch. It's less funny when you're barely sixty, and your body hurts too much from lack of use to even walk around the block. As I wrote this, I thought about my dear mother, and I realized something shocking. She never once took me for a walk, nor did she ever go for a walk.

I can't help but think how disrespectful it is to those who have no choice but to be immobile when we able bodied people fail to use the healthy bodies we're born with. Instead of protecting our healthy bodies, we spend our lives feeding it crap and not moving. Then we look to science to make us better or try to find good health in a bottle. When you think of it in those terms, it doesn't make sense.

At my highest weight, I weighed 262 pounds on this 5'2" body.  I was barely thirty-five years-old, and yet, I felt like a seventy year-old woman inside. I would put things at the bottom of the stairs until I had enough collected to justify a trip up. My knees ached all the time. I had GERD so badly that I ate TUMS like they were candy. The amount of food I consumed was unreal. I kept getting bigger and bigger and less and less healthy. It doesn't matter if I loved myself or not.  Obesity related diseases don't care if you have good body image. They don't discriminate between those who have good self-esteem and those who don't.  Diabetes and heart disease were in my future.

Struggling with obesity

My mobility was becoming compromised, as well, and I was getting to the point that walking was a struggle. Was I going to be that fat lady on the Jazzy at Target because I ate myself to such an unhealthy size that I couldn't move easily? At thirty-five?

No ma'am- no thanks. In 2005, I had gastric bypass surgery and got my life back. I lost down to 135 pounds, and I felt amazing. Never in my life have I felt so in control, healthy and beautiful. It was bliss. I became a runner and finally understood why people say exercising makes you feel great.  I've gained about twenty pounds since having Little Man, but never will I let myself become morbidly obese again. I owe it to my son to make sure he learns healthful eating so he doesn't have to deal with obesity. I want his quality of life to be wonderful, not filled with health issues. I'm working on taking off these last stubborn pounds, even as I write this.

Meghan Trainor is 21....she has no idea what's ahead of her if she doesn't get her weight under control. I know, and I want no part of it. She can gorge herself on junk food (which she's admitted she does) and not exercise regularly (which again, she admits), but it will catch up with her. I hope in forty years she's not writing a song called, "All about that heart disease." I wish her a long and healthy life, but first she has to realize she won't be young forever. Now is the time to start taking care of her health.

Amanda Z
Domesticology

If you love your kid, please vaccinate

If I surveyed one thousand moms and asked them would you die for your child, the entire group would say, "absolutely!" I might ask, "would you throw yourself in front of a speeding bus or step between them and a loaded gun?" Again, the answer would be a resounding "hell yes!" But if I asked that same group if their child is vaccinated, I would get some who would say, no way. And therein lies the trouble.

I'm forty-four years old, and I received my vaccinations. When my girls were born in the late 80's and early 90's, I had them vaccinated - as did every other mother of their generation. It wasn't even a question. You did it, and get this, the kids were fine. Occasionally a child would run a slight fever and have redness at the injection site, but other than that, no one thought twice about it being risky. You know why they didn't? Because it wasn't risky, and due to our diligence, a lot of diseases were all but eradicated.

Fast forward to today and my 11 month-old son lives in a world where diseases once thought gone are now on the rise. He is not vaccinated against measles, because he's not old enough to receive the vaccine. Every time I take him out in public, I now worry if some well-meaning but misguided mom's little darling who is trying to kiss my baby has had his shots. When my girls were little, I never once gave it a thought. Now, I run interference and don't let little kids get near mine. I feel bad, because children are natural love givers, but thanks to their moms believing in bullshit conspiracy theories and pseudo-science, I have to keep them apart.

I met a mom in Walgreens yesterday, and we began discussing vaccines. She didn't vaccinate, she said, because she's allergic to something in vaccines, and her kid might be also. So I ask what it is she's allergic to, exactly? She had no clue. She is this new generation of hippy dippy moms who call themselves researchers, because they read stuff online. They sincerely believe that corporations are out to get them and they just want you to buy their product. Let me be really clear, even if that was the case (which it's not), childhood diseases kill. Corporations didn't make that up - it's a fact. Diseases like the measles aren't just uncomfortable rites of passage for your little one - they maim and kill. Vaccines are one of the best and proven methods we have to protect our children from death, yet some people still don't have their children vaccinated.

My husband is a scientific researcher, so my circle of friends is comprised of a lot of doctors - both Phd's and MD's. Not one of them does not vaccinate. Let that sink in. These people aren't bought by corporations. They are brilliant doctors who are actively researching cures for diseases like cancer, Alzheimer's and diabetes. They have spent their entire lives gaining knowledge and working in research. They are legitimate, trained scientists and believe firmly in the scientific method...and they vaccinate. 

Fear is what is propelling this anti-vax moment, and I get it. I'm an older mom, so I've done a lot of reading on autism. I've read the heartbreaking stories from mothers who have children with developmental issues. I know they want and need answers. I understand why they believe their children's problems are from vaccines. Autism often presents itself right about the time kids get their MMR shot. The problem is, correlatuon is not always equal to causation.  That is a hard one for folks to understand, so let me give you an example of how empirical data can be misinterpreted.

When I eat cheese grits, I can barely breathe afterwards. My stomach cramps so violently that I have to lie down for about an hour or more. Based on this empirical evidence (I can see it with my eyes), cheese grits are clearly harmful to the body. You should avoid them. Don't eat them. In fact, I could start writing about it on a blog, and by month's end, I could have an anti-cheese grit movement and maybe even link cheese grits to stomach cancer! I bet I could even find some health-food nuts who call themselves doctors to write some supporting documentation.

Doesn't make sense, does it? But that's how anti-vaxxers get their info. There is no legitimate primary source science to support it, but they still believe it.

Motherhood is hard, and there are many ways to do it.  I don't care if you nurse or don't nurse your baby. He or she will be fine. No baby is harmed if you choose disposable diapers over cloth. Working mom? Stay at home mom? Doesn't matter. We can debate the merits of different parenting styles all day long, but friends, vaccines shouldn't be a "parenting issue" open to debate. The scientific evidence is clear.

Protect your baby and mine - please vaccinate.

If you agree, please share this on Facebook!

Amanda Z
Domesticology

Tip 7 - Embracing Your Inner Iron Chef

Today's blog is part seven of our 10-part series on saving at least $1000 (or more) this year with very little pain on your part. Most of the tips will be easy and won't disrupt your routine!

Most everyone has seen the television program, The Iron Chef.  When you watch it, you know you're about to see a battle of culinary genius, the likes you've never seen before. Your breath is held in anticipation - waiting to see what the secret ingredient will be for that episode. Will it be something as foreign as bull testicles or something as innocent as mushrooms? Who knows? All you know is these cooks can take the most obscure item and turn it into a feast fit for the cover of Epicurious. The taste buds dance at the beauty of the plated meal, which makes you forget for a second that there's no way in Hell you would ever eat cow balls, but they somehow manage to make cow balls look delicious.

What do you have in common with these cooking masters? How does imitating them help you save money? These folks know how to cook, and so should you! They take the ingredients they have on hand and make a tasty meal out of them. Cooking your own meals is one of the top ways to save money. Now, I know, everyone likes to eat out, including my cheap ass. Let's keep it in perspective, however. We went out to dinner last week, and what I spent on that meal equaled a full one-third of my grocery budget for the week! Obviously, I wouldn't trade that time with friends for anything, but imagine if I did that three to four nights per week. Can you see how that adds up? Not only that, cooking your own food is a lot easier (and more fun) than it sounds.

How do you get started?

• Think about what kinds of food you like to eat. You want to cook foods that you find delicious. Based on what your family likes, start attempting to make those dishes at home.
• Keep a well stocked pantry with items that you can throw together into a meal and fast. If you have to go to the grocery store, you're going to cave and get takeout. I always have staples like flour, eggs, milk, rice, beans, tomatoes, vegetables, meats, cheese, etc. I can make a meal at anytime just by shopping in my own pantry or refrigerator.
• Go online and find recipes. Perhaps you like lasagna, but don't know how to make it. Simply Google "Lasagna Recipes." The 'net is full of great suggestions. Check out various lasagna recipes and attempt the one you feel most comfortable trying. If a recipe has 20 ingredients and takes two hours to make, skip it. We're going for yumminess, not complexity.
• Choose your recipe website carefully.  If you're a novice, you probably don't want to start with Bon Appetit or Saveur.  While their food is eye candy for the eating soul, the recipes often require ingredients and a skill level you don't have. Work your way up to the more advanced recipes. For now, visit sites like Betty Crocker or Kraft. They will have very easy starter recipes to help you hone your cooking skills.
• Learn to use your crock pot. The crock pot is truly one of the most awesome inventions of all times. You can throw in a piece of meat, some spices, then turn it on and leave it. What a feat of engineering. You cannot screw up a crock pot meal. It's impossible.  Visit this site to see some neat ideas!
• Join Pinterest. They have some of the most amazing food I've ever seen on that site. When I see a recipe I like, I pin it and look at it later when I'm out of ideas. Check out what your friends are pinning. That will help you try dishes you've never thought of. I've also made some great dishes from recipes my friends post on Facebook.
• A recipe is a guide, not a law. As you get more comfortable, you can tweek the recipe to your taste buds.  You can usually adjust the spicing, for example, without screwing up the recipe. Baking is another matter, and should NOT be tweeked, unless you're a really good cook. Baking is chemistry. 
• Most important, don't give up if the first meal you try isn't stellar. I remember the first time I made steak and gravy. It was inedible and resembled burnt water with some onions floating in it. Now, it's one of my best meals. 

Happy cooking and don't forget to share with your friends on Facebook!

Amanda Z
Domesticology


AmandaZ is the (mature) stay-at-home mom of Pork Chop, Southern gal, thrifty bad a$$ and writer of Domesticology101.com. This blog tackles all things domestic - from child rearing to cooking and home improvement to frugality. All done with a touch of humor and common sense. This is definitely not your mama's home economics site!

10 Reasons It's Great To Be A 40+ Mom!

Welcoming Little Man into the world at 44 years-old

When I had my first child, it was 1987.  Madonna was huge, parachute pants were stylish, and if you were a loser, you were totally grody to the max! I was two months shy of my 18th birthday, and finished high school with an infant in tow. What the hell was I thinking? Even though I was barely out of childhood myself, I had a super support system, and I loved my little girl with all my heart. The second sweetheart came along six years later, and while I was more established, I was still only twenty-four. Yep, as Roseanne Barr said, I had my kids when I was young and stupid like you're supposed to. 

Fast forward, and my beautiful girls are grown, I have a perfect granddaughter, and I'm happily married to a man who has never had kids. After much discussion and research, he and I decided to make a baby. Now, I'm not twenty-four anymore, and I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive to start over at my seasoned age. Little did I know that getting pregnant at forty-three would be one of the most amazing adventures of my life.

Why is it awesome to be a mom over forty? Since I've had it both ways, I think I have a unique perspective.

Here is why it was easier for me to have had a baby as an older woman...

1. You have more money. Plain and simple. I can remember having to make tough decisions about paying for baby supplies or making rent. There is nothing more depressing than seeing a cute outfit at the store and realizing if you buy it, the lights get turned off or wondering how you can possibly afford diapers this week.
2. You're able to complete your education. This directly relates to having more money. It's really tough (though not impossible) to go to college with an infant. College typically equals higher incomes. 
3. Patience, patience, patience. My son can wake me up at 4 am just to play, and it's okay. When I was in my twenties, that almost killed me. I have no idea what biological mechanism is at work with this one, but I can wake up easier and be more alert at forty. If he's having a bad day, it's easier to take a deep breath, give him a hug and not lose my cool. 
4. Our partying days are already over. In your twenties is the time to hang out with friends and party, if that's your thing. By the time you hit forty, you realize sitting in bars is expensive, and you turn into a homebody. A super Saturday night now is sitting on the floor with Little Man, watching his animal friends DVD and eating homemade nachos (and drinking wine!).
5. You've had time to travel. My husband and I have taken really cool grown-up trips and have lovely memories. Now, we look forward to the Disney vacation or camping in the mountains with our son. We don't feel like we've missed out on traveling at the best time in life to do it.
6. Your relationship is probably more secure if you wait until you're older to find your life partner. The relationships I had when I was younger compared to this one...well there is no comparison. We are friends as well as lovers, and parenting with my husband is a joy. 
7. You really are wiser. I'm sure the 20-something moms will rip me a new one for that one, but it's true. I know way more about life at forty-four than I did at twenty-four. I thought I knew it all when I was younger, but I really didn't. 
8. I'm healthier. That may come as a surprise, but you often eat like shit in your 20's...mainly because it's cheaper to eat that way. I also value exercise now, where in my younger days, I did a lot of sitting. You learn as you get older that if you don't take care of your body, you'll be an old lady before you're ready. Having a baby is a good motivation to stay healthy.
9. I'm a happier person. I've had time to figure out who I am and be content with the woman I've become. When I was young, I was still on a voyage of discovery. It makes parenting easier when you like who you are.
10. It keeps you young! I don't have time to get old right now. My little guy moves at rocket speed, and I have to keep up. He makes me appreciate the beauty of life at a time when many folks no longer see it. I don't see life like an old woman - I get to see it through the eyes of my toddler, and it's great.

Being a parent is a tough job no matter what your age, but it feels easier now when some would call me...gasp... middle aged! Even my pregnancy was easier. I felt healthier and strong.  Are there perks to having kids young? Absolutely! Barring any unforeseen calamity, I will get to see my granddaughter grow up into adulthood. I'll get to be a young grandma with her and have lots of fun. I probably won't get to see my son's kids become men and women, and that makes me sad. There is a good chance I might die when he's in the prime of his life. My mother and father adopted me in their 40's, and I lost them while I was in my late 30's. Plus, it  is super tough to take care of an aging parent while raising your own children.

I'm probably always going to be the oldest mom at story-time, and when I went to my OB/GYN, I saw moms that were young enough to be my kid. You get that awesome AMA (advanced maternal age) stamped on your file, and the nurses always raise their eyebrows when they notice your age. 

But even with all that, I have no regrets. I'm thankful everyday that I've experienced motherhood...whether I was twenty-four or forty-four!

Wisely,

Amanda Z

Domesticology

12 ways to know you're dating Mr. Wrong!

My best friend who keeps me laughing

My good friend Katy* was recently asked how she knew her husband was the one. Apparently, they make having a relationship look easy, and someone wanted to know their secret. The answer is pretty simple, really. She picked the right guy, and he picked the right lady.

I have never bought into the school of thought that marriages are a lot of work. If you're working that hard, you picked the wrong partner. You spend your entire life trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. Why do that?

I've been married three times. The first time was to my high school sweetheart. I'm sure I'll get hate mail for this one, but never marry your high school sweetheart! You have no idea who you will grow up to be and nine times out of ten, you'll grow apart. The second time, my self-esteem was in the crapper, and I married a guy who had so many red flags, I must have been temporarily blind not to see them. Then, out of nowhere, Dr. Z came into my life, and I finally have the type of relationship I've always wanted. I want to save you some pain and have you learn from my mistakes. What did Katy and I do that helped us find the perfect man? Read on!

Don't marry him if....

• your family and friends hate him. If they think he's an asshole, he probably is. I can't tell you the number of women who marry men, even though everyone hates him. I've heard women say, "my mother/sister/friend is just jealous! She doesn't want me to be happy!" Listen, I'm a mom, sister and friend. I've told the girls in my life when a guy is a loser. I do not want them to be unhappy. That's why I point out the asshole qualities of their beau. So remember, if no one in your social group likes your man, DUMP HIM. You may be blind, but they aren't.
• you have to make excuses (see above). If you say comments like, "you just don't get him" or "you caught him on a bad day...he's not usually like that", you're kidding yourself.  Of course he is, honey. You're just embarrassed that we saw it. Grow some gonads and dump his sorry butt.
• he can't hold a job. This may seem petty, but it's not. It's not even about money - it's about stability. You don't want to have children with a man and worry all the time how you will provide for them. We all know this guy - the guy who is always looking for the next big job that's going to pay him well. Or maybe he quits every job he has because, you know, his boss is a jerk and treats him badly. If your guy gets more W2's in January than you have shoes, he's a hustler and will always be a hustler. Not fun.
• he has some problem that he refuses to acknowledge. You will not fix him, dear. The only man you can change is in diapers. If your guy smokes pot all day or has untreated depression, realize that's what you're getting. He's not going to give up video games for you. He's not going to suddenly realize he has trust issues. It will make your life hell. Women want to fix the broken guy. I understand. But he has to be the one to fix his issues. Make sure it happens before you marry and have children.
• he doesn't make you laugh. When you get old or the sex gets stale, laughter will sustain you. If he's so serious that he doesn't know how to smile, you're going to have a very boring life. My husband and I have more fun than any two people should have. He has made me smile since day one. No one likes David Downer.
• the sex sucks. Nothing more needs to be said on this one!
• you've only been dating a short time.  For the first two years of a relationship, you're basically stoned. Your brain is releasing all of these neat endorphins, and it feels amazing! This is NOT when you marry your partner. Wait a bit. Cool your jets, and don't be in such a hurry. Wait until the buzz wears off and you see the real man. If you still like what you see, then marry him.
• he's already married. I see women all the time go out with married guys. Sigh. Really girls? You can do better than that. I'm going to tell you a secret. His wife really isn't a horrible shrew who withholds sex and emasculates him. That's what he's telling you because you're strange, and men love to get some strange. Proceed with married guy at your own risk - remember, if he did it with you, he'll do it to you.  He won't, you say? Well, he did it with you, didn't he?
• he doesn't have his own place. If he hasn't learned to run his own home by the time he's of marrying age, you're getting a child, not a man.  A man does not want to live with his mom and dad at thirty-five. 
• you fight all the time. This one I've never understood. Why would you marry someone you fight with all...the...time? That isn't fun, that's torture! You fight all the time, and you think this might be your life partner? Holy poop balls. I'd rather have an enema. If you need drama in your relationship, see a therapist...STAT.
• you're too different from each other. My college pysch professor made the comment that like attracts like. Me being full of rightitude promptly spoke up and said, "Opposites attract!" She gave me a stern look and said, "That's true. Opposites attract, but like stays with like." Doh, she was so right. If you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, it's probably not going to work.
• you're settling because you still haven't found love for yourself. Low self-esteem will make you pick a loser every time. More importantly, they will seek you out, because, like a rabid dog, they smell low self-esteem. They will use you and then throw you aside when they're done. Do not fall for this! Love yourself first, then you will attract the kind of man you truly want.

I'm sure you can add to this list! Feel free to leave a comment below!

Knowingly,

Amanda Z

Domesticology

*Name changed

The SAHM vs. The Working Mom - Nobody has it easy

When I became pregnant with Little Man, I had all intentions of heading back to work. I began the tedious process of interviewing day care centers and trying to find a place where I could leave him each day without having my heart ripped from my chest. I remember how it felt when I had my girls over twenty years ago. I had to work when they were little, and I hated it. HATED it. My money was needed to pay bills, so not working was never an option.  Fortunately, my mother kept my girls for free and I was able to work, or we would have struggled more than we did.

As I searched, I realized it wasn't just a matter of finding the perfect place - there were certainly centers that would have given him love and care. The problem was, putting him in daycare would have eaten the majority of my salary. Still, I was willing to do it. Fate stepped in, fortunately, and while on maternity leave, my husband was offered a job and I could stay home.

This sounded wonderful to me, as I can remember the pain I felt when I would drop Emily off at preschool and watched the "soccer moms" stroll in looking comfortable and casual in sweats, while I was trying to keep my dress clean and not be late for work. I hated them for their obvious better-than-me attitude, driving their shiny new mini-vans and looking relaxed in their perfectly placed ponytail and yuppie smiles. I can remember one saying, "Oh don't worry, we don't expect you to go on this field trip. We understand you have to work." Ouch.

I was embarrassed to be that mom. The one who missed things because she wasn't rich enough to stay home. The one who had to look at her little one and say, I'm sorry sweetie. Mommy can't get time off this time. I hated the corporate mindset that says, your ass better be at your desk. We don't care that your little one doesn't have her mom on the class trip to the aquarium today. Sure I could take a sick day, but that time had to be saved in case they were too sick to go to school.

Now circumstances have changed, and here I sit - I'm the mom on the other side of the fence. For the first time in my life, I'm the mom who doesn't have to contend with an angry boss or get out of the door on time. I can leisurely start my day with Little Man and a hot cup of coffee (that never actually gets drunk while hot). I don't have to race anywhere with him, so mornings are spent getting cuddles and having play time. This is what I wanted, so it should be perfect, right?

Wrong.

I now see what I never saw before. I didn't realize those moms with their perfect lives maybe didn't have it so perfect. I had no idea that being a stay at home mom had issues I had never even considered. Sure, I get to be with my kid all day, but I get to be with my kid all day. Sometimes, okay a lot of times, I crave the conversation you can only have with another adult. There are days I don't shower and dress because I've not been able to put the baby down long enough to throw on my yoga pants. Never did I think I would crave dressing up, but I do! I never realized those women might not be rich. I mean, they had to be, right? Wrong. They were probably living as tight as I do now.

Now, I live in a town where the majority of women I interact with have advanced degrees. These women are sassy, brilliant and sharp. They talk about politics, policy and their topics of study with an ease that only comes when you're really really smart.  And there I stand in my yoga pants watching them and again, I have that feeling of being different. Is this how those moms really felt watching me when I went off to my "interesting" job, looking polished and put together? Did they envy the fact I earned my own money?  Were they as jealous of me as I was of them?

I don't know. All I know is that we are all moms, and this is one of the toughest journeys we choose in life. It is our responsibility to lift each other up and help one another get through this tough process known as child rearing. Wouldn't it have been amazing if I had reached out to those SAHM moms and they to me when my girls were little? What if we weren't eaten up with petty jealousy, but instead only wanted to help each other? It really does take a village to raise a child, and it doesn't matter if the villagers are wearing sweats or a power suit - we all wear the title of "MOM."

Fondly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

I need a loan to pay for my kid's birthday party!

As we prepare to celebrate my child's first birthday, I think I better start investigating loans or maybe sell some plasma. In order to have the best party a one-year can have, I should have started planning sooner, like when he was in utero. It's coming up in six weeks, and I haven't made a reservation. All the best places are going to be reserved! I've clearly failed my son.

In all seriousness, kids birthday parties have become complex events that need a "planner" and a "gift registry" so that each little darling birthday boy or girl gets all the attention he or she can take and that perfect, oh so expensive, gift. Boy have things changed.

When I was a little girl, I had birthday parties at our home. A few select, real friends would come over and eat cake and ice cream. Once the very inexpensive gifts were opened (if they even brought one), we would head to my room and play. As you got older, you might even have had a sleepover! That was a birthday party. It was a day that my parents celebrated my arrival into their lives - a day very special to them. To the rest of the world, not so much. It was just another day.

When I read the story this morning about a mom suing her child's playmate's parents for $24 because they were a no-show at her kid's birthday party, I realized people have lost their minds. Seriously. Things have gotten out of control, when a kid's fifth year birthday is as complex to plan as a Bar Mitzvah or a Quinceañera ! As I read the story, I noticed so many things wrong, I don't even know where to start.

First, who the hell spends $24 per kid on a birthday party...at a ski lodge? I remember my parents saying people have more money than brains, but $24 worth? That is insane. Is it any wonder kids grow up thinking that the whole world revolves around them? Let's be clear why people pay $500 for a kid's birthday party - to impress the other parents. It says that we are successful enough that we can blow this kind of money when in reality, my kid would be happy with pizza and some friends at the park.

Second, what happened to following through with your obligations? You don't ask the kid what he or she would rather do. When he initially accepted the invitation, that was it. You don't get to change your mind later. That's horrible manners and poor home training. These are the same people who grow up and don't show at weddings, a place where it is expected to spend top dollar per guest. What if everyone had just decided not to show? You would have had one very disappointed little boy sitting in his fancy ski lodge eating cake alone. Not cool.

But it gets worse. It's bad enough the kid didn't show and mom wants to sue. They went on to do the number one shitty thing parents do to their kids when they are angry - they brought them into the fray.  Party Mom and No Show Dad have started a Jerry Springer-esque battle royal in that fair court of public opinion, Facebook, and now their kids don't even play together anymore. The whole thing makes me sad.

As for our little guy, I think we'll just have some cake and ice cream with little man, family and his one little friend. We will reminisce about the day he was born and how our lives changed completely with the joy of his arrival. There will be no brass bands and carnival atmosphere - just the intense love we have for him. Hopefully, for now, that's enough. If not, I can always hit our 401K.

Fondly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

My first attempt at Meatless Monday! How did yours go?

Well, it's Tuesday, so that means yesterday was supposed to be meatless. How did you do? Did you make a meatless meal for your family? I posted a blog last week discussing the merits, both for health and frugality, of having one night a week meat-free. It doesn't have to be Monday, of course. Any night that works for you is fine.

I'm going to share one of my favorite vegetarian meals that we just had for supper. Hope you enjoy it!

Spinach Stuffed Lasagna Rolls

10-12 Uncooked Lasagna Noodles
1 small bag of fresh spinach (About 4 cups unprocessed)
1/2 onion
1 8oz container of ricotta cheese
1 egg slightly beaten
8-10 ounces of grated Parmesan cheese
Garlic, Basil, Oregano and black pepper to taste
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups mozzarella cheese
1 Jar of your Favorite Pasta Sauce

While boiling your lasagna noodles, chop the spinach and onion in a food processor.

 If you don't have one, just chop it really well with a knife. 

In a medium bowl, mix the chopped vegetables, ricotta, egg, Parmesan cheese and spices.

Drain the noodles and allow to cool slightly so that you can handle them. Take one noodle and spread the spinach mixture down the length and then roll it up. Place into a 9 X 13 baking dish. 

Repeat until all mixture is gone. 

Next, pour tomato sauce over the top of all the rolls until they are covered completely in sauce. 

Sprinkle mozzerella cheese over the top of the sauced rolls.

Cover with aluminum foil and bake for about 35 minutes. Take the foil off and put back in oven and cook a few minutes more until your cheese is brown.

Enjoy!

Amanda Z

Domesticology

So you can't afford a gym membership? We've gotcha covered!

I know money and time are both tight right now, so I've found a way you can get a workout and still save money. In days of old, I was a Zumba instructor. There are tons of Zumba videos online posted on YouTube. I have gone online and put together a fun playlist of videos so you don't have to. If you don't like mine, login to YouTube and make your own! It's fun and FREE!

A couple of reminders:

1. Wear comfy shoes, preferably with a slick bottom. We don't want you to twist a knee!
2. Stay hydrated. Water water water!
3. Zumba is done to a 4-count. If you can count to 4, you can do this workout.
4. Don't suddenly stop if you get tired. March in place until you cool down or can continue to workout. A sudden stop can make you pass out.
5. Make sure your physician has said you're in good enough health to do a workout.
6. Good health doesn't come in a pill form, so just get started!

Good luck!

Amanda Z

Domesticology

Tip 6: Can you give up the meat?

Today's blog is part six of our 10-part series on saving at least $1000 (or more) this year with very little pain on your part. Most of the tips will be easy and won't disrupt your routine!

Yesterday's blog made me think about being chubby. Yes, I am getting chubby, and I don't like it one bit. Maybe you feel my pain and also see a ballooning roll of chub peeking over the top of your jeans. Let's not call it a muffin top. A true muffin top is delicious, attractive and right. They taste wonderful. The chub I'm talking about is more like the pasty white jiggly dough that squeezes out of the can when I pop open refrigerator biscuits. Not attractive, and definitely not what I want to see hanging around my waist.

Since I'm all about frugality, I tried to think of a way to incorporate saving money into losing pounds. The easy solution is to stop buying food, of course, but then you'll all starve to death and stop reading my blog. We can't have that!

Instead, I had a serious discussion with my super brilliant (and hot) scientist husband who suggested we observe Meatless Monday. One day each week, we will eat a vegetarian diet. This is beneficial for a few good reasons:

• Eating a few meatless meals each month saves money as most meat is pretty expensive. I can get a bag of beans for less than $1.50. A beef roast is close to $10, depending on size.
• Meat, while high in protein, is also high in fat and calories. This contributes to my big bootay syndrome.
• Eating less meat is better for the planet. Meat production contributes greatly to greenhouse gas emissions which is leading to climate change.
• Eating more produce and less animal proteins is better for your overall health. This could lead to lower risks of obesity, cancer and heart disease. 
• Less disease means you spend fewer dollars on healthcare. Great!

I'm not suggesting you become a vegetarian, because I know for certain, I could not be one. I love the meat (that's what she said), but the thought of challenging myself to come up with inexpensive and healthful non-meat meals is pretty exciting!

I estimate you could easily save $100/year having one day of meat-free eating. Monday, I will post a vegetarian dish sure to please your family!

Fondly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology


AmandaZ is the (mature) stay-at-home mom of Pork Chop, Southern gal, thrifty bad a$$ and writer of Domesticology101.com. This blog tackles all things domestic - from child rearing to cooking and home improvement to frugality. All done with a touch of humor and common sense. This is definitely not your mama's home economics site!

Am I pregnant, or did I just have bad Chinese?

This is definitely good Chinese, not to be confused with being pregnant

I know a lot of folks have heard about the young woman who recently gave birth to a ten pound baby and reportedly had no idea she was pregnant. She went full term and only found out she was pregnant and about to give birth when she started having "pains" and went to the hospital. Hmmmm. Did she now? I remember labor pains. They made me turn into a baby having banshee, traumatizing interns and terrorizing my husband. A little pain, they were not.

Am I the only one who just cannot get their heads around this? I have been fortunate enough to be pregnant three times in my life. Each time, there was no way in hell I didn't know an infant was inside of me. I felt the kicks and the unrelenting pressure on my bladder. What did she think that was? Lo mein gone wrong? When the baby stuck her little foot out and made her belly move, did she think she was possessed, because seriously, when they do that, it's a little weird even when you know you're pregnant. If I saw my belly move like that and wasn't pregnant, I would be calling Father O'Malley quick!

Not only that, you couldn't miss my belly. That thing was HUGE. My little girl number two was 9 pounds 4 ounces of baby goodness, and I looked like I had swallowed a Buick. This lady has a ten pounder, and she doesn't notice the protruding mass coming from her belly? I was over two hundred pounds when I was pregnant with kid #2, and you could easily tell I was pregnant. It looked like a baby, not a buffet muscle. She is quoted as saying she thought she had just put on some Christmas weight. I gained thirty pounds with kid number one and about that much with kid number two...that's a whole lot of sausage balls and cheesecake, my friend.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending, and mother and child are doing well. After this, I bet anytime she has gas and farts, she's going to grab an EPT. No way is she assuming it's just the re-fried beans.

Amanda Z
Domesticology

Should you be Steaming Your Girl Bits?

Just steep some vaginal steaming herbs and water in this little pot
for a fun-filled day of vaginal frivolity

Every now and then, something pops up on my Facebook news feed that makes me pause and mutter, what the f-ck? Today was one of those days. I logged into Facebook expecting to see the normal assortment of baby photos, recipes and cute anecdotes from friends, but instead I saw an article on Vaginal Steaming (not sure why I capitalized that...it seemed appropriate), and why I should be doing this now. 

To Steam the Bits, one should steep one cup of "vaginal steaming herbs" in a basin of hot water, then you sit your bare bum over it and let the steam...er...you know...penetrate you for 20-40 minutes. Here is the link.

The benefit to steaming is that this process can cure everything from cramps to yeast infections.  I guess Midol and Monistat are now passé and today's modern woman is better served by "forgotten ancient wisdom." I admit I'm a hippy-dippy sort of gal, but even I'm a bit hesitant to sit spread eagle over a pot of heated water, letting the herbal steamy effervescence moisten my uterus like a hot dog bun before a Fourth of July picnic. Do I really want to smell like a bowl of potpourri? Goodbye Juicy Couture! Hello Rain Fresh Glade! And really, what man doesn't want his woman to smell like his grandma's Chrysler?

Not only am I supposed to sit serenely as my vagina is transformed into a uterine paradise of posies, I can use this time to knit a sweater or re-read  War and Peace! Forget wine and massages to relax you after a day of hard work. No ma'am, just come home and sit on your fragrant neti pot for the vag, and you too will feel your workday stress just melt away. All the while, you can "detoxify the womb and remove toxins from the body."  When it comes to toxifying the body, I'll take Merlot, please. I'm not so concerned with detoxifying it.

My friend Kim is brilliant and could see this becoming a new home party trend! Invite your girlfriends over and sit in a drum circle, tongues waggin', drinking wine, having snacks and trying not to notice who needs to do some landscaping.

That doesn't sound too awkward, does it?

Fondly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology