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| Just steep some vaginal steaming herbs and water in this little pot for a fun-filled day of vaginal frivolity |
To Steam the Bits, one should steep one cup of "vaginal steaming herbs" in a basin of hot water, then you sit your bare bum over it and let the steam...er...you know...penetrate you for 20-40 minutes. Here is the link.
The benefit to steaming is that this process can cure everything from cramps to yeast infections. I guess Midol and Monistat are now passé and today's modern woman is better served by "forgotten ancient wisdom." I admit I'm a hippy-dippy sort of gal, but even I'm a bit hesitant to sit spread eagle over a pot of heated water, letting the herbal steamy effervescence moisten my uterus like a hot dog bun before a Fourth of July picnic. Do I really want to smell like a bowl of potpourri? Goodbye Juicy Couture! Hello Rain Fresh Glade! And really, what man doesn't want his woman to smell like his grandma's Chrysler?
Not only am I supposed to sit serenely as my vagina is transformed into a uterine paradise of posies, I can use this time to knit a sweater or re-read War and Peace! Forget wine and massages to relax you after a day of hard work. No ma'am, just come home and sit on your fragrant neti pot for the vag, and you too will feel your workday stress just melt away. All the while, you can "detoxify the womb and remove toxins from the body." When it comes to toxifying the body, I'll take Merlot, please. I'm not so concerned with detoxifying it.
My friend Kim is brilliant and could see this becoming a new home party trend! Invite your girlfriends over and sit in a drum circle, tongues waggin', drinking wine, having snacks and trying not to notice who needs to do some landscaping.
That doesn't sound too awkward, does it?
Fondly,
Amanda Z
Domesticology
O.M.G! Seriously now, some people just have too much time ...wait...make that airspace in their heads.
ReplyDeleteSteam and moisture are not good for your lady bits. They have enough of that on their own. Not to mention the fact of what one would be introducing into the interior of said lady bits IF in fact that steam were to find it's way into one's uterus.
Reminds of me of when I was a teen some friends proclaiming that mixing one's own urine with nettles, simmering on the stove, then rinsing your hair with it was the healthiest thing in the world. Not sure about the healthy aspect of it.
I do know it smells something fierce and will most definitely get one yelled at.
I would think that would upset the delicate balance that is the feminine kibbles and bits...IIt's not good for you.
ReplyDeleteSquirrel
Eeerrrrrr..hot water
ReplyDelete