10 Reasons It's Great To Be A 40+ Mom!

Welcoming Little Man into the world at 44 years-old

When I had my first child, it was 1987.  Madonna was huge, parachute pants were stylish, and if you were a loser, you were totally grody to the max! I was two months shy of my 18th birthday, and finished high school with an infant in tow. What the hell was I thinking? Even though I was barely out of childhood myself, I had a super support system, and I loved my little girl with all my heart. The second sweetheart came along six years later, and while I was more established, I was still only twenty-four. Yep, as Roseanne Barr said, I had my kids when I was young and stupid like you're supposed to. 

Fast forward, and my beautiful girls are grown, I have a perfect granddaughter, and I'm happily married to a man who has never had kids. After much discussion and research, he and I decided to make a baby. Now, I'm not twenty-four anymore, and I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive to start over at my seasoned age. Little did I know that getting pregnant at forty-three would be one of the most amazing adventures of my life.

Why is it awesome to be a mom over forty? Since I've had it both ways, I think I have a unique perspective.

Here is why it was easier for me to have had a baby as an older woman...

1. You have more money. Plain and simple. I can remember having to make tough decisions about paying for baby supplies or making rent. There is nothing more depressing than seeing a cute outfit at the store and realizing if you buy it, the lights get turned off or wondering how you can possibly afford diapers this week.
2. You're able to complete your education. This directly relates to having more money. It's really tough (though not impossible) to go to college with an infant. College typically equals higher incomes. 
3. Patience, patience, patience. My son can wake me up at 4 am just to play, and it's okay. When I was in my twenties, that almost killed me. I have no idea what biological mechanism is at work with this one, but I can wake up easier and be more alert at forty. If he's having a bad day, it's easier to take a deep breath, give him a hug and not lose my cool. 
4. Our partying days are already over. In your twenties is the time to hang out with friends and party, if that's your thing. By the time you hit forty, you realize sitting in bars is expensive, and you turn into a homebody. A super Saturday night now is sitting on the floor with Little Man, watching his animal friends DVD and eating homemade nachos (and drinking wine!).
5. You've had time to travel. My husband and I have taken really cool grown-up trips and have lovely memories. Now, we look forward to the Disney vacation or camping in the mountains with our son. We don't feel like we've missed out on traveling at the best time in life to do it.
6. Your relationship is probably more secure if you wait until you're older to find your life partner. The relationships I had when I was younger compared to this one...well there is no comparison. We are friends as well as lovers, and parenting with my husband is a joy. 
7. You really are wiser. I'm sure the 20-something moms will rip me a new one for that one, but it's true. I know way more about life at forty-four than I did at twenty-four. I thought I knew it all when I was younger, but I really didn't. 
8. I'm healthier. That may come as a surprise, but you often eat like shit in your 20's...mainly because it's cheaper to eat that way. I also value exercise now, where in my younger days, I did a lot of sitting. You learn as you get older that if you don't take care of your body, you'll be an old lady before you're ready. Having a baby is a good motivation to stay healthy.
9. I'm a happier person. I've had time to figure out who I am and be content with the woman I've become. When I was young, I was still on a voyage of discovery. It makes parenting easier when you like who you are.
10. It keeps you young! I don't have time to get old right now. My little guy moves at rocket speed, and I have to keep up. He makes me appreciate the beauty of life at a time when many folks no longer see it. I don't see life like an old woman - I get to see it through the eyes of my toddler, and it's great.

Being a parent is a tough job no matter what your age, but it feels easier now when some would call me...gasp... middle aged! Even my pregnancy was easier. I felt healthier and strong.  Are there perks to having kids young? Absolutely! Barring any unforeseen calamity, I will get to see my granddaughter grow up into adulthood. I'll get to be a young grandma with her and have lots of fun. I probably won't get to see my son's kids become men and women, and that makes me sad. There is a good chance I might die when he's in the prime of his life. My mother and father adopted me in their 40's, and I lost them while I was in my late 30's. Plus, it  is super tough to take care of an aging parent while raising your own children.

I'm probably always going to be the oldest mom at story-time, and when I went to my OB/GYN, I saw moms that were young enough to be my kid. You get that awesome AMA (advanced maternal age) stamped on your file, and the nurses always raise their eyebrows when they notice your age. 

But even with all that, I have no regrets. I'm thankful everyday that I've experienced motherhood...whether I was twenty-four or forty-four!

Wisely,

Amanda Z

Domesticology