Making the Case for Family Dinners

The Happy Eater!

Dinnertime has always been one of the happiest parts of my day. Not because I like to eat (I do), but because it is family time. When I was a child, my father worked until 4:30 each afternoon. He arrived home promptly at 4:45, and when he walked in, we all sat down and ate dinner together as a family.  I know that's early, but my parents ate like they were seventy-year-old seniors heading down to the local Morison's for the early-bird discount. Later in the evening, my daddy always went back to the kitchen and had his "midnight snack." I normally joined him at the table for some kind of gooey treat, and we talked and spent even more time together.

When my big girls were little girls, more often than not, we ate together as a family. Now that I'm doing mommy-hood the sequel, I see more than ever the value in those family meals. Life is busy. Moms and Dads both work, and usually, their little ones are in school or daycare. It's life, and it's hectic. Everyone's plate is full and no one has time to just sit and talk. In fact, there are families who spend their whole day without having a meaningful conversation with the other members.

So if folks are so busy, how can I make the case for family suppers? Because it's just that important. You have to make time. No, you may not be able to do it everyday, but when you look back on your week, hopefully more meals were eaten together as a family than alone. Family meals force parents to sit with their kids and listen. Let them tell you about their day. Tell them about yours. In those few minutes of being together, it creates a cohesiveness a lot of families are missing.

It also teaches them good eating habits. They learn that meal time isn't meant to be spent grabbing a sandwich over the sink or eating with one hand while the other types on the computer. They get nutritious, homemade meals instead of a happy meal. They learn table manners by watching you or if they're little like my guy, they realize we sit for meals and not run around the room! They are exposed to real food and see you eating it as well. One of the best ways to get your child to eat is to let them see you enjoy food. They want to be like you. The best part is, for those thirty minutes or so, your child sees that nothing is more important than his family.

My life is pretty crazy. I run an in-home daycare, blog and take care of our home. My husband is just as busy. He's a research scientist and professor. I'm expanding my business and taking on more children. My husband is starting a new phase of research that will keep him even busier than he is.

But pretty much every night, we sit down together and eat. I can hardly wait until my husband walks through the door, because we cook together, and Emrys sees two adults who love each other making his food. He's even learned to sit through an entire meal without screaming to get down. We laugh together and watch our little one's reaction as he is exposed to new flavors, textures and tastes. His eyes light up when he likes a food, and he spits it out when he thinks it's yucky. The best part is, we witness the whole thing. Together.

Hungrily,
AmandaZ
Domesticology

Do you do family dinners?  Leave your thoughts below and be sure to share! Thanks!

The Battle of The Bink

The Bink - My enemy; My friend

Happy New Year, one and all! It's that time of year when resolutions are made. It's when some of us promise to be better people and get along with family. Maybe we'll volunteer more or begin an exercise program and lose weight. That seems to be the most common goal. Many of you will be fighting the battle of the bulge this January, and I certainly wish you luck. But for my family, it's a different kind of struggle. In our house, we're fighting the Battle of the Bink and trust me, we're losing - hard.

We started out strong with the best of intentions. When our little one was born, we promised ourselves that he would be pacifier-free by two years-old. A fair and noble goal, if you ask me. He'll be young enough that his teeth won't look like Bugs Bunny, yet old enough that we can reason with him when we rip away his favorite item on the planet like the evil parents we are. So far, we have stood by our promise...which has been fairly easy since he's not two yet. But as we creep ever closer to his second birthday, we realize we're getting ready to fail big time.

The problem is I have a love/hate relationship with the Bink. I love them because I firmly believe babies who use pacifiers are happier babies. They are soothed easier and they sleep better (Note: I have no scientific proof to back this up, but as I've said before, I'm a blogger so it must be true). With all of these benefits, I've been hesitant to take away the one object that brings more peace to my home, more calm and happiness, than anything else. Well, maybe second only to a really nice Cabernet.

I hate them too. They are expensive. He bites through them, and I'm replacing them every few weeks. They're easily lost and when you find them, they're covered in dog fur and not really good for babies when bacteria-ridden. He loses them at night, and we do the sleepy parent shuffle in the dark to find a bink in the covers. Invariably, it's behind the crib, and the item that's supposed to bring ease to my life brings a royal dose of pain in the ass.

We realized back in November that his February birthday was fast approaching, and we had done nothing to make the transition. So we began planning our strategy. We would make Bink just for bedtime! He would only have it for sleeping, but no daytime use. Brilliant! Our plan was going really well, actually. Being the good baby he is, he would sweetly hand us Bink when he got up to play. What a wonderful boy. We are super parents, and he is a perfect child.

Then he got sick and our plan went into the crapper.

Our sweet little boy would shriek like a banshee when we tried to take his Bink away. Even after he got over the crud, he wouldn't go back to the nighttime bink rule. He expected to have it whenever and wherever he wanted it. We have a dish in our room where we keep the Binks until needed (The Bink Bowl). I knew we had hit rock bottom when I found myself crouched on the floor giving him "just a few sucks sweetie, but don't tell daddy" after his father reminded him that binks were only for bedtime and he wasn't sleeping.  He was so pitiful, like a little baby bink junkie needing just one more suck. I admit it. I was an enabler.

So we gave up taking away the Bink for now. We failed. Baby - 1; Parents - 0.

What makes this even more difficult is he's become a three Bink-a-day sucker. Oh yes, he must have three pacifiers on the go at all times. He's hooked. If anything, he's more dependent by the hour, and we are powerless to stop it without severe pain inflicted upon all of us. It's going to get ugly, and I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe we'll delay it past his second birthday. What harm is there, really? It's not like he'll take it to college.

Will he?

Contemplatively,
AmandaZ
Domesticology

If you've had success weaning your little one, let us know how you did it (PLEASE)! Be sure to share our blog and like us on Facebook. Thanks!

Hello, I'm Mommy, and I'll Be Your Entertainment!

The Calm Before The Storm

I admit I can be entertaining. There are times I completely crack myself up. Okay, so I'm not always funny to other people, but to me, I'm hilarious! Oh, and I guess I'm a one woman show for the little man.

So how did that happen? When did parents become responsible for their kid's constant entertainment and boredom removal? (and when did kids' cups become so damn hard to put together?)  I don't remember my mom constantly spending time with me and making sure that, God forbid, I wasn't bored. But here I am, a gazillion mom years later, and I find myself screeching to the Dad unit, "Quick! Get on the floor and play race track! He appears under stimulated!"

Back in the good old days of parenting, if I got bored, my mama would tell me to hush - she was watching her stories, and you did not want to interrupt her stories. She took her story watching very seriously, and by the time I was five, I knew all the plot lines of every soap opera on NBC.  Days of Our Lives taught me everything I know about love and intrigue. Because of that show, I'm never sure people really die...maybe they're hiding out on an island, only to reappear when their former love is about to remarry. It could happen.

Where was I? Oh yeah, bored kids. What happened to letting them play and just learn on their own? I don't mean you shouldn't interact with them, but I know I and lots of other mamas feel pretty guilty when we aren't constantly stimulating their intellectual growth. What if they grow up to be mediocre because they watched too much Little Baby Bum?!  Right now there is a mama out there making homemade play dough and planning to make a mold of her kid's right foot, because, well, she should. After that she'll do some algebra with him and maybe review the periodic table.

With Winter upon us, boredom is a constant threat.  Apparently, if my kid doesn't go out every single freaking day, he turns into psycho baby. I diligently watch the sky like some kind of boy scout to see if the weather is right for us to slip out for 10 minutes so the young one can run and play and "burn off energy." That's parent speak for "stop being a holy terror."

Today I watched the sky and announced triumphantly that we could indeed go play. Thirty minutes later, when we were both appropriately bundled, we went out into the cold. All was fine until he wanted to go into the creek. We've had torrential rains, so it was more like a roaring river. No way he's going near that. Cue tantrum....

I proceeded to pick him up and tried to carry him home, only to have him practice his new head butting skill on my chin. That felt great. I finally got him into the house, where he cried for fifteen minutes on the floor and finally went to bed. He had been asleep for only a little while when my Lab woke him up. Now he's watching television and doesn't look bored - for the moment.

Parents, we need to cut ourselves some slack. We're not a one woman/man show. If you read books, snuggled your kid, fed him, gave him love and turned off the television at least once, I say you had a good day!  If your child played in his room by himself, I'll argue that's healthy. Some of the best play my son has done is when he goes into his room alone and creatively plays with his toys. I'm not there to instruct - he comes up with the play all on his own.

Maybe, just maybe, our kids aren't bored after all.

How do you handle your kid's boredom? Share in our comment section and don't forget to like us on Facebook and share our posts!

Sleepily,
AmandaZ
Domesticology

Where's a Saber Tooth Tiger When you Need One?

Obesity is on the rise and a full 75% of our citizens are overweight or morbidly obese. Type II diabetes is at a record high. I know a lot of folks blame hormones in food, GMOs and antibiotics in cows. I can't say for sure these aren't contributing factors. I'm not a doctor, so it may be the case. But I have my own theory. I think it's because we have easy access to food, and we avoid exercise like the plague.

Yep, we have perfected the art of sitting on our ass. We'd rather take a bullet to the knee than exercise.  I'm the first to say that I could be a professional couch sitter. I love it. Turn on some Netflix or Hulu, give me some pretzels, and I'm good for hours. I sat my way to 262 pounds. Okay, that wasn't cool, but my television watching skills were second to none!

When I realized I was approaching three bills on my 5'2" frame, I finally lost weight. Keeping it off, however, has been a challenge. Overweight people are some of the best dieters out there, but keeping the weight off once it's lost is the real problem. It's like in the Seinfeld episode where Jerry reserves a car but they rent it out before he gets there. He says, "You can take the reservation but you can't hold the reservation - and that's really the most important part." Keeping the pounds off is the most important part.

Weight loss is a simple formula, really. Calories in versus calories burned. You have to eat right and move your body to lose weight. So why do we avoid using our bodies for the work they have evolved to do? Why do we try to lose weight by severely restricting calories but not exercising?

There was a time when fitness was not for vanity, but for our very survival. I imagine our female ancestors didn't run through the African Savannah to get on the cover of Neanderthal Illustrated. More than likely, she was trying not to get eaten. Since Kroger hadn't been invented yet, she also had to run to catch her supper. I can't even imagine how much fun that was. "Hmmm, what should we have tonight, family? Let's see what Mommy can catch!"

Even when we moved into the Neolithic period and began transitioning from a hunter/gatherer society to an agrarian one, we still had to work our asses off. All through antiquity and even up until the last century, people had to work demanding physical labor to produce their food. Did you ever watch Little House on the Prairie? Pa and Ma and the kids worked really hard, but often, their crops failed. It wasn't like they could run to the Piggly Wiggly when that happened.. They had no food. Period. It's hard to be obese when you're eating dry bread at each meal.

But here we are in modern times, and food is plentiful. There's no need to toil in the fields or chase wild animals. No beastly beasts are chasing us. We're at the top of the food chain! We can sit in comfort and watch our girth increase. Because of this change in our culture, people now make any excuse in the book not to move. I'm tired. My butt hurts. My mouse died. I have seen folks sit for ten minutes waiting for a parking place at Walmart, rather than parking farther away and walking. Is it any wonder we're getting larger?

But it's not just about our weight. Exercising is good for so many other things; weight maintenance is just a side benefit. I was feeling very sad about moving from my family and living in a new place. Winter came and I put on ten pounds! I was getting so depressed, I wanted to cry all the time. I started taking time for myself and began exercising everyday. I'm down 16 pounds, and my spirits are better. I feel alive again.  Check out these ten reasons to exercise that having nothing to do with weight loss!

My father gave my daughter his old car when he died. She wasn't quite ready to drive and it sat in my driveway for several years. Finally, we cranked her up and she ran like crap. We hadn't used her, so she deteriorated. That's what happens when we don't move. We're like a car sitting in a garage. Don't be surprised when your car breaks down. Get it running before it's too late!

Has exercise changed your life? Share your story in the comments!

Physically,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

When you have a Toddler, You never Potty Alone

I realized something today. I have not had a satisfying bathroom experience since my son became mobile. By mobile, I mean he can move farther away from my outstretched arm than I can reach as I try to conduct...business. I remember the days when I could read a magazine, check my phone or maybe just sit and contemplate life while in the bathroom. For that is what toilet time is for - peaceful meditation.

More importantly, bathroom attendance is a solitary event. It is something meant to be done in relative peace and quiet so that all functions work smoothly and uninterrupted.  Having someone go with you is just...wrong. Plus it's really hard to reach Zen when you have to plop down quickly before your toddler throws his Bink into the bowl. Unless you plan to hold it for five years, however, you learn that sometimes, potty time is a group activity.

I never thought I could do it, but yes, I can potty with a toddler hanging onto my leg. I have also perfected the "reach" which gets him out from under the bathroom sink whilst my booty stays mostly attached to the toilet seat. Mostly.

The bad days are when we go to the bathroom, but mommy...silly mommy...forgets to shut the door properly. That means right in the middle of said constitution, Little Man escapes. The only thing worse than a toddler joining you is a toddler deserting you. There is no way to continue to concentrate because you have no idea what he's into. Is he currently going through dirty laundry and putting your panties on his head? Yeah, it's happened.  Is he pulling out all of Daddy's running clothes from the dresser while you try valiantly to complete the deed? Probably.

I know there is a mommy reading this who says, "why doesn't she just put him in the crib?" Well, I could do that, but the only thing worse than a baby on the leg and one who escapes is one who stands in the crib, wailing and wanting out. Who can concentrate with that racket? A better pooper than me, that's who.

It has really become the "Toilet-Olympics" in my house. Daddy gives the signal that he's heading to work, which means I only have a few precious minutes for bathroom activities. There's no time to waste! Like an athlete, I lean over, fingers touching the floor. The baby whines, and off I go in a coffee-fueled dash! I run down the hall, racing for the seat, my pants coming down before I even open the bathroom door. Barely do I sit before I complete my task, wash my hands and return for baby duty. Daddy is free to leave, and I have set a new world record. The judges from Romania gave me a 10.

Clearly, I have become the Bruce Jenner of Pottying.  Look for me on a box of Wheaties - or Charmin.

Delicately,
Amanda Z
Domesticology

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An Easy and Fun Toddler Project!

Now that warm Spring breezes are blowing, it's time to start doing art projects with the kids. If you've felt like I have, Winter was a time best spent hibernating and getting fat. Well, enough of that! Yesterday, I decided to do a fun project with Emrys and his BFF (and her awesome mom). They are both one year-old, so I figured this project could go really well or really badly. As it was, it went pretty okay.

First you need to make the Finger Paint:

1/2 cup Corn Starch
3 Tbsp Sugar
1/2 tsp Salt
2 cups Cold Water
Food Coloring

Mix all ingredients in a pot (minus the food coloring) and cook on low heat until the mixture is smooth and thick - about 10 minutes. Let it cool completely. Then separate the paints into storage containers. I added a couple of drops of food coloring and stirred until mixed.

Here's what it looked like when I was done:

Next, we read some of One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue Fish.  Most of you probably have it in your kid's library. The book is too long to hold their attention for a lengthy amount of time. 

We focused on the first page. 

Next, I bought some poster board.  Here is how I decorated it. No comments about what a pitiful drawer I am. An artist, I am not!

Then, with a lot of assistance from the mommies, we introduced the paint to their hands. That turned out to be pretty interesting. Emrys wanted to eat it, and I think his friend thought it felt yucky! Remember, at this stage of development, it's not about the finished art project, but more about new textures and stimuli. We also counted and talked about colors. 

Who knows what stuck in their little baby heads?

Emrys seems pleased with his project.

That's art project number one! Stay tuned and see what we try next! Send us pics of your kids doing projects. We love to see them!

Amanda Z
Domesticology

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Should we encourage girls to be Princesses?

Hi friends! Sorry I've been a bit MIA lately, but I've been working, traveling, visiting family and handling a sick baby. Many of you know how that goes, so I'm assuming you'll cut me some slack. I'm also going on the assumption you want to read my blog and have actually missed it. Let's go with that!

On to today's topic...

I'm a weird girl - I readily admit that, so maybe I'm reading more into this than I should. I have a thick skin, so if I'm wrong, tell me. I can take it.

Yesterday, I received a notification inviting all girls to come to a Girl Scout meeting that was a Princess Party.  Young ladies are encouraged to dress as their favorite princess and earn their....princess badge. Duh what? A princess badge? Is this really a thing? What else do they earn? Their toenail painting badge? Their skin-care regimen badge?

I'll be the first to admit I don't know a lot about the Girl Scouts.  I tried to take daughter #1 to meetings, but one, we were too poor to buy the materials, and two, it kind of sucked. Daughter #2 pretty much hates most people, so she had no desire to make lifelong friends and do chick things with other girls. So yeah, my GS experience is somewhat limited.

My darling hubby was a boy scout and did it until he quit, because and I quote, "he wanted to get laid."  At least he was honest.  All the stories he tells me, however, are pretty awesome. He learned to swim really well and make camp. He became a great archer. He can make fire without a match, which I think is pretty cool!  The things he learned were the kind of skills a young boy can take into manhood. They had value. Where is the value in learning to be a princess? He never mentioned getting a Prince Badge.

I think this bothers me in the same way beauty pageants bother me. Little girls are more than the value of their appearance. I never tell my granddaughter or my son's BFF that they are pretty (they really are pretty though) without also saying how clever and smart they are (because they are and that's WAY more important).  In the grand scheme of life, no way gives a shit if your kid is "Tiny Miss Junior Miss Little Miss Wee Wee."  I'm pretty sure her future employer is not going to care, since they are hiring her for her brains...unless they are a weirdo and are hiring her for her looks which is super creepy.

Again, I could be making a mountain out of a molehill. It wouldn't be the first time. Do you learn survival skills in the GS's? Do you get other cool badges learning things of value?

Let me know in the comment section!

Quizzically,
Amanda Z
Domesticology